Dear Database

It's so funny how people perceive the reputation of my journals as attendant with vast information of Pinoy men in ME. I have been receiving inquiries as to give further clues to personalities I presented, while some are requests to write about certain individuals.

A lot of times I've been drawn publishing their stories on blogs because of juicy (sordid?) details. But as I could not draw an angle of issue, I always ended up putting them all in the bin.

But to all it's worth, this e-mail was a cut. Read on.

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Dear Data,

Congratulations, your fame and popular truly. My expectations is for you are you already posses so many infos about gays and bis in Saudi Arabia. Can I ask favor? Can you refer me to some of gays and bis you know of in Saudi Arabia, please. I prefer those lonely and willing to pay me, because I am very small salary.

Btw, I am very handsome, good muscle body and big d&*#! I'm good kisser and very fresh breath. In bed I can make you uuhhh and ahhh so loud. Really. Please tell your frends that I am very clean also. I always start taking bath in the bathroom or if he have Jacuzzi the better. Because if I am not my perspiration from work is yukkk!

Btw again, Data I know you know a lot because your name is spread everywhere here in Saudi. So just give my name and mobile to who are not so very gay, please. As I am very handsome, I like handsome gays and bis also, so others will not know we are doing man to man relations.

If possible, only those who's got muscles and big d&*#. Don't worry Data, once I go on vacation there in the Philippines, we will go out and eat you at expensive restaurant together. Just give me lots of refers.

I am wish you tell us more stories to tell our friends also. 'coz they are funny.

Love lots,

Jerome
(number withheld)

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Btw, I got the consent of Jerome to publish this.

Si Lance Paminta Part 2

(This is an answer to various reactions created by the original post. Please visit the journal section of www.pic-link.com to read other comments.)

It was from an episode of ABS-CBN's The Correspondents that I heard of the psychosis behind exposes. One of the clinical psychologists featured in that show opined that hate reactions to such shows normally spring, apart from the guilt of having done the same dirty thing (and been exposed), from people's innermost recesses because subconsciously they have the tendency to do the same in the future.

Though I don't entirely agree, that explanation made me nod and told myself "ahh...that's why" when a host of gays and bisexuals reacted vehemently against another show exposing sex trade happening in a male spa center (GMA's Imbestigador). In a group discussion about that topic, these gays and bisexuals admitted not having even visited the said spa, but were unanimous in saying they hate the thought of being exposed 'had they been in the same situation.' The last statement may perhaps validate the opinion of that psychologist, huh!

In the same line, while reading the hate journals pertaining to my entry/blog (Si Lance Paminta), I could not help but perk a little smile and nod once again. I would assume stupidity here, if you don't follow my line of thinking.

My concern now, however, is once again called by people who drag personal issues to that of national concern. I just couldn't help but feel pity for these people trying so hard but failing miserably. Please someone enlighten me as to how these issues have something to do with Pinoy's work nobility abroad. For all we know, such sexual struggles of men in ME may even play as catalysts for efficiency in the workplace.

Then, some people talk about morality while their comments reflect vague idea how it works. We can go far beyond arm's length discussing morality, but we would still end up pointing at values as the tenets of its fundamental principle.

And this is precisely the very core of all issues (I presented so far). That our values are on the run.

If one is keen enough, he may have perhaps already observed how flagrant the sex ads in this site; or that people are no more surprised to find out young men opt to offer their bodies rather than get work sidelines to earn extra income; or how it is becoming natural for people to literally buy out and corrupt other innocent people to ease their own loneliness; or how ordinary for men, such as in the case of Lance, to enter into same sex relationship despite having heterosexual marriage in the Philippines.

And yes, for most people (at least in this site), these actions are okay as long as one does not neglect his obligations to family back home. Some even validate that they have been in practice since one can so remember, and that they are but normal.

And so, where does morality take us then when our values tell us otherwise? Perhaps, these hate comments spring from our own fear to face reality. And the face of our own realities is tainted with not so much good stuffs.

I guess there is truly wisdom in the saying "truth hurts", but then we fail to realize that only "truth can set us free."

Si Lance Paminta

I kept on hearing stories similar to Lance. And whenever I am being introduced to a vacationing OFW (from the ME), I could not help but have this ambivalent feeling that the encounter with the man before me who's got this shiny smooth complexion and tantalizing eyes (not sure if it is because of his semi-plucked brows), is one of the third kind.

You see, Lance is working as Administrator in Saudi Arabia. There, apart from his work, he joins organizations whose members claim themselves FREE as a bird. Lance's into sports. Well, if joining other freebirds screaming while watching men perspire their exposed brawns on court could be considered as one, then Lance is into it.

He's into shopping too. He frequents signature boutiques and toys expensive stuffs. Most of all, Lance's into relationship. Lance enunciates his Saudi-barred life to a partner. And mind you, this is not mere spending quality time together, but actually "living-in" with a partner of the "same" sex.

Our sense of diversity would naturally tell us nothing's wrong with the situation.

But there is more to the equation. Lance is married (to a girl) in the Philippines. At home country, he's got three children, all innocent but bright kids ever so proud of their hardworking dad.

Lance's folks are equally proud too, but not in the case of the wife who seems the only one who knows his misgivings in terms of delayed remittances and absence of sweet-nothings during their chats and overseas conversations. But she knows too well not to let Lance's kids and folks know of such wariness, lest she causes a rupture to his image as a perfect father or grateful son, respectively. So the wife rather kept all her forebodings to herself, burying in her subconscious the bomb waiting to happen.

If you ask Lance how soon he intends to finally exit, he will give you figures. But the truth of the matter is, at the moment, he does not have the least intent.

For Lance, he ironically found freedom in a land where there is restricted expression. There, he can be with people of the same wavelength; get a taste of men with mutual benefits; and, flirt his way to the point of giving his hard-earned salary. All in the name of newly found freedom - in Saudi, Lance is who he really is.

Like his wife with a bomb, Lance's got a clock. But more than alarm, its tick is tuning a question that begs to be answered. Though he tries his best to shut it up, it creeps and constantly bogs his mind.

Years have already passed since he took his first step in the scorched part of the earth, but until now Lance's got no answer to the question - if is it really possible to swing from one side of the sexual fence to the other permanently?

Can he truly believe that he can win his own battle, and eventually emerge as "ex-gay"?

Why Pinoy Men in ME Special?

A lot of PM's I received, since I started writing journals and blogs, are inquiries about my seemingly brewing interests with the affairs of men (Pinoys that is) in the Middle East. Though I must admit that some insinuations to write about men in Down Under and in the US regions are more titillating in terms of details (I got a lot of e-mails about them too!), I opt to write about our kababayans in the ME because of this sinister observation – that Pinoy men in the Middle East redefine the concept of Pinoy male sexuality.

It's probably cultural. The liberty enjoyed by the Western countries make one lose his grip on morals, and in the process gets absorbed by its system. It may also be economical. Pinoy men in our home country have to deal with a host issues attendant to poor living conditions. And it's probably psychological too. Stifling and strict governance, like ME, makes one rebellious and defiant.

Between the three situations, I find the last most purposeful and resolute. Because of this, Pinoy men in ME are more in the position and in control in this evolutionary process, if ever you can call it that way.

And since we are talking of evolution or anything similar to it, the process goes a long way. Stories have to be told, issues have to explored, and covers have to be exposed in order to come up with a bigger and clearer picture of who and what makes a Pinoy male.

And so our chronicles continue.

Ericson of CityPlaza

What could be more frustrating for a wife but to find out she could not fulfill her essence of being a woman – to give birth to a child. (hmmp! cliché)

What could be worse for a man but to find his woman having an affair with his very own best friend. (very Dr.Phil!)

And, what could be worse for a gay man but to catch his adoring heartthrob lover servicing another guy. You think this is just a product of my imagination? Think again!

This story is taken right from the oven. A self-confessed gay is painting the city of Jeddah red with his sad story. The cry is so loud it's deafening and gorging all the senses of call agents here in Buendia.

It goes like this: One night, a gay, an eye doctor, had enormous grocery bags to bring to his "papa" (lover). On that particular eve, he did not call the lover to help or anything. Anyway, he had a duplicate key to the flat, and it would be better to surprise his baby instead, so he thought.

He was anticipating a little bit of pampering. After all, taking upon his shoulder the responsibility of providing his 'papa' weekly grocery and a once-in-a-while shopping spree is indeed a great ordeal. So he deserves a TLC from the lover. That thinking excited him.

But as he brought down the bags and slowly opens the door, a mystery was unfolded.

There in an open nakedness, behold a sight that will let you fall down on your knee! Like a lightning strike of a thousand volts, it was the most heartbreaking spectacle…. his baby, the one he adores, the center of his world, the apple of his eyes is playing a hungry baby to another, ravening every bit of manhood.

After milliseconds, the doctor composed himself but never truly regained his senses. At first, in a weakened manner, he asked for an explanation. The lover answered that the flat mate got a problem with his AC (air conditioner) that they decided to sleep together.

That did not satisfy the gay doctor, and so he freaked out and demanded the lover to return all the things and every single cent he spent on him.

But the lover can not be bent. In return he replied, 'Kung ganon, ibalik mo rin ang lahat ng t*m*d na kinuha mo sa akin! P&*%$#@.

With nothing to do, the gay left the scene. He is now telling it all hoping to find answers to his questions. The why's and the how's.

ME in Deepshit

I found this cool graphical representation of the title at the time when the new USA budget for Iraq war was at its height of heated discussion. What do you think?

MRT scheme

This is from a friend who's always in action, aka, flirting. But for all of you who would want to try the power of Bluetooth technology in their celfones, read on.

When you ride an MRT, make sure you ride in the last train. It's proven that 90% of actions happen on that last tip. Only heaven knows why even during daytime, when the afternoon sun is at its scorching heat, and when spacious seats are available somewhere on the other part those light railways, people, mostly gays, converge and choose to suffer the suffocation of that overcrowded room.

But wait and observe! While one hand holds on the poles, the other one is meticulously filtrating who's who on the list of "seb's" that appear while their celfone's Bluetooth is activated.

Yes! If one is lonely and needed someone to talk to amidst the deafening sounds of silence, or if one frets for a buddy to beat the weather heat, all he has to do is open his Bluetooth, rename it as "seb", and pronto! Numbers will prop up on screen.

Now who says you need Ophrah to talk things out. Bluetooth technology has made talking to strangers (and getting them to bed) so much easier. And it's even better than buying veggies in the supermarket because, because it only takes a button, and it's virtually free!

Now, that's what I call party.

Testing One's Market Value

(I have written this article in response to violent reactions to previous post "Kalakaran Sa Saudi: CityPlaza Boys" that originally appeared in pic-link.com).

In one of series of the program "Survivors" I got acquainted with the term "testing one's "market value". That episode showed an interview with a survivor then involved in a sex scandal with another co-survivor of the show. When asked if there was something more to it, he just said "nothing", and apparently he was "just testing his market value". (See Rob Mariano & Amber Brkich of Survivor All-Stars)

A realization came to me that people in general test their sexual appeal from time to time. One may do it once or twice, or even at recurrent period. Testing one's market value is generally regarded as OK.

But when it becomes perverted and it starts to take advantage at another's expense, or when higher priorities in life yield giving way for such perversion to take over, then I think that it is time cry out "wolf".

I will not argue with people who turned this testing thing into "trade" or those who have taken to mean 'market value' in its literal sense. I am no moral guru to begin with, and they have their own reason, be it economic or otherwise. Besides it is not effective to rail against one's behavior, unless one is able to identify and discuss the causes. As ksa_flirt states the situation presents a deeper problem, but I dare not dig deep into it.

I am only saddened by the failure of people most affected by the issue to respond and express what they feel. I guess I have expected them to pour their hearts out, and shed some light where the real problem really lies, whether it is all about loneliness (or its causes) or their low self-esteem, or whatever.

Had they chosen to, we all could have been made aware of, and identify with our own, vulnerabilities. Because whether we admit it or not, such vulnerability has been used against and in fact been capitalized by both parties regardless of the side we belong (user and the abuser/d).

For people who claim that these things should be kept private, I urge you to re-think your position that you may realize the ultimate benefit of talking these things out. There is no sense in reading a book in the dark. The only way to read and understand it is to let the light shine through.

To people who maintain that a topic like this has no place in the journals and thereby should not be accorded with comments, I have single advice: lead by example.

I still believe that life is all about learning and trying to make ourselves and those around us happy, and from time to time it may include testing our market value. But regardless of what others may think or say, if our actions and decisions are always done in a way that we personally cannot respect, then we know that we are changing the course of our life – and NOT for the better.

From Pinas to KSA... with Love

Two men met by chance. From the moment they saw each other, they were spellbound. From then on their journey started. The first man felt the relationship as a tangled destiny like their tangled limbs. Inseparable. Permanent. Forever.

For a while, he did not know where it all began, nor will it ever end. Despite misgivings of the second man, he takes him again and again, until that so-called love madness overwhelmed him. For the first man, theirs is a lush, amorphous fever tide of exhausted pleasure." (quoting Sam Pomfret's "Hard Sauce").

The second man, of tall physique with chinky and delighted eyes, claims he loathes admiration but naturally find people regularly falling in love with him. He, like in William J. Mann's "Men Who Love Men," finds sex ''only as a pleasant, localized sensation, a kind of anesthesia of the groin.''

The day of doom came. A third man entered into the picture. All gathered together, the second man openly admitted, he loves the third man more, and that it is over between him and the first.

The first man is heart-broken but is determined not to see the second man again. So off he went to Khobar, Saudi Arabia: better a clean break than prolonging the agony of unrequited love.

But indeed, character precedes reputation. Sometime in 2000, that very second man plowed a beautiful relationship of a certain couple. He made up stories; broke the relationship; and at different occasions got each of them laid.

All these times, the second man seemed to have mastered the art of deceit and has been luring men, bi's and gays into his trap. He uses sweet words, makes big promises, and employs tricks to meet his ends. Of course, all at the expense of his body craftily presented as 28yo.

Now, that second man is in Jeddah, all out hunting for his next victim. Once again, he will unleash his hymn to the tune of "buy me another drink and I'll sing you another sad love song" charm.

Who are they? Visit pic-link.com and look for users khobar609 and malambing2009.

Kalakaran sa Saudi: CityPlaza Boys

(This appeared in pic-link 9th May 2007.)

Once or twice a week he gets 30 riyals for a mobile phone load plus 10 riyals for a taxi to get back to the accommodation just so he spends a night with his secret lover. If he gets lucky, he gets a 29-inch flat colored TV (sometimes with TFC connection) as a gift; or if luckier, a cold cash amounting to 5,000 riyals just for making up stories such as an old uncle died, or that his kid needs medication so he can send to the Philippines.

This is a typical story of a boy working in retail outlets such as food chains and malls in the Middle East. He maintains practicality; otherwise he would not be able to buy the recent model of celfone, signature clothes or eyewear, branded perfumes and the likes with a salary of less than $400 a month.

Consequently, if the secret lover fails to give, he easily moves to the arms of another potential provider.

Meanwhile, another man's heart is broken and left waiting-and-wanting to get even with the boy. This is such a classic line among men in the Middle East. Some with families to support in the Philippines, they live the life in the arid region caught in the mire of emotional rollercoaster of trying to love another man. Sad as it may seem, this has become a cycle for as long as one can remember.

With the mushrooming of malls in the Kingdom, new batches of young men come in, almost in quarterly basis. CityPlaza, (SM's counterpart in ME) the dominant working destination of these people, has established itself as the hub for gays and bisexuals (sometimes even for old maids) on the lookout for fresh 'carte du jour'.

Though the latter claim to have learned their lessons following the effect of the illicit "love" affair on their finances and their family relations in the Philippines, it is still a puzzle why they let themselves succumbed to the charms of these seemingly innocent looking faces.

As an old-timer in Saudi asserts "it is race against time, a hope against all hopes that the next time will be different."

Pic-link.com, soul patrol

The title is not meant to stake a claim against the phrase popularized by Season 6 American Idol Taylor Hicks, but a figurative label to describe how it plays a crucial role in patrolling the so-called extra curricular activities of Filipino men in the Middle East.

With all the challenges brought about by varying cultures, and homesickness of missing family and friends in the Philippines, these men, other than spending their time playing lawn tennis or attending setting-up-small-business seminars, chose to take it off with one another, others call it "sharing", and still others, "fellowship".

But one wouldn't want to do it with a nearby neighbor, oh not! Otherwise, one's desert life will be tarnished with pink reputation, and since these so-called 'neighbors' or 'mates' may have access to another's family at home country, fear is like Doomsday pouding Superman to bleed!

So the best way is to go on a cover, or I should say to do things the "discreet way".

Thanks to the internet! It seemed to have offer a solution to this dilemma. And of all sites, pic-link has become the favorite. A cool dating site where one can freely manifest their desires to one another.

For nearly a decade, it has served as a centre of personal information of men willing to try out with another, albeit for the first time as they claim; a repository of sentiments and of hidden lusts.

It has acted as a hook-up for men to release an otherwise exploding heat of desires in the vast arid region; a witness to activities of these individuals trying to creep their little naughty ways while the whole is watching.